I CANT SLEEP AS I FEELING GUILTY

1.16am - 24 March Thursday.

            Last nite, off for bed when I got a good news brought by the rain... Yes, you read it right, The RAIN. The tears of the heaven-so-call finally poured down to earth. Of course I'm happy with it. Coz its been like 2 month the world've become like Hell here in Sabah. Its so damn hot before. As hot as me, I guess. haha... Nah!!! I manage to get home early today as we got "green light" earlier today. Of corz I'm happy. So, I arrived home with a happy smiley face. As I can finish all my daily chorus and go for online. You know what is it mean. Yes!! I can go for chat for a long period today. Of course I'm happy. I go for online and yes, we've chat. But bad things suddenly appeared. Damn!!! Suddenly its black-out. Its 7.xxpm. So, I was like *&^%$#@ that time. So, I'm laying on my bed and go for some sms to my love one. Tried to make a joke. Yeah, its cute to see when your love one sulking isn't it? hehe... I was just joking around until I fell asleep... Put the blame to the rain. hahaha.... Suddenly I woke up at 11.1xpm. Gave a call to say sorry... Yes, I mean it.

           After the phone hang-off itself as the credit gone almost finished. This got nothing to do with the break-up stuffs okai...  Dunno but yes I've just finished read all the posts from the blog... . Uh hu! From my love one's blog and I read everything. And after read all that stories, I start to wonder.... "Is there really chances for me to feel the love?" I guess I should just try my best for this love. Of corz I dunno how far it will go but for sure I wont quit. I'm just trying my luck n best. Seriously I've found the love.  And I wont stop for it. YES, I WONT!

            But I just want to make this thing clear. I just want you to know that.. Your journey of your life stories are just an another great experience for you. Yes, for you to know what LOVE is untill you know you'll LOST it. Being good doesn't mean you have to be perfect. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. Its about how we UNDERSTADING each other and the feelings. Feel the heart. Taste the sweet n sour of this precious life. Being hurt before doesn't mean you have to make other persons feel the same as you do before. YES, I LOVE YOU. I typed it thru my sms, I said it the the fon. And I mean it. Yeah, its sure hurt sometimes when people say things you didnt do. But, for me I will take that as a challenge. As I've said before, I'M NOT PERFECT. And I'm really3 sorry for that. 

             There just so much things to say. But, I think this is enough for now. Whatever happens onward, I just hope that we can go through and solve all the problems. And for you to know, I never stop thinking about loving you and never start thinking about hurting you. My love is there no matter  how hard you've tried me with all your speeches. Just please stop judging me. Just please. YES, 143!

Hugs,

Jerung Rimba Putih

3.09am, 24 March 2010

DOSAKAH AKU?

Dosakah aku mencintaimu
Mendampingimu

Menginginkanmu

Aku menjadi diri sendiri
Tak peduli apa kata dunia
Ku nanti hari ketika
Cinta datang cinta menang
Jadi sayangku bertahanlah
Bila terkadang mulutnya kejam
Peluklah aku
Jangan menyerah
Mereka bukan hakim kita
Bintang yang mempertemukan kita
Cinta yang mempertahankan kita
Tuhan dengarkan doa
Dari cinta yang terlarang
Rasa yang mempersatukan kita
Cinta yang mempertahankan kita
Tuhan dengarkan doa
Dari cinta yang terlarang
Cinta dan rasa

Bersatu di doa
Berharap cinta kita yang terlarang
Berharap cinta kita yang kan menang

Ikhlas,

Jerung Rimba Putih 

THANKS FOR THE HURT

Dulu aku kau puja
Dulu aku kau sayang
Dulu aku sang juara
Yang selalu engkau cinta
Kini roda telah berputar

Kini aku kau hina
Kini aku kau buang
Jauh dari hidupmu
Kini aku sengsara
Roda memang telah berputar

Mana janji manismu

Mencintaiku sampai mati

Kini engkau pun pergi

Saat ku terpuruk sendiri

Akulah sang mantan
Akulah sang mantan

Sakit teriris sepi
Ketika cinta telah pergi

Akulah sang mantan
Akulah sang mantan

Ikhlas,

Jerung Rimba Putih

LYRICS....

:(

IS THIS THE END OF CHAPTER ONE?

Sakit. Aku rasa sangat sakit. Dan aku cuba untuk bangkit.

Mati. Aku rasa seperti mati. Walaupun aku tahu aku tak mau mati.

Pedih. Hati ini rasa pedih. Benar-benar buat aku sedih.

Takdir. Beginikah takdir? Iaitu saat yang kau tak mungkin hadir.

Kau datang dengan indah tapi kau pergi tanpaku pinta.

Kau buat aku gembira tapi kau tinggalkan aku berduka,

Kau ukir senyuman bahagia tapi kau gores hati ku luka,

Kau buatku terbuai leka tapi kau biar aku merana.

"Dimanakah harusku cari.

Pengganti dirimu bila hati telah terpatri,

Seribu jarak telah ku tempuh,

Agar kau slalu bersamaku"

Bagimu benar katanya,

Bagimu jahat diriku,

Bagimu kesian dirinya,

Tapi bagimu aku tak guna. 

Aku tau....

"Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
Cintaku padamu
Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
Seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
Ketika ku bersujud"

Baginya,

Kataku bersulam bisa,

Walhal aku menurut sahaja,

Katanya tetap aku tak lupa,

Dengan harapan itu buatnya bahagia.

Kita yakin akan wujudnya cinta,

Biarlah kita tempuhinya bersama,

Kalau kau tahu bahagia ada disana,

Kenapa tanya watak ketiga???

Bukan sengaja buatmu bengang,

Meski kau kata nak bagi pelempang,

Walau slalu berfikir aku ni pencurang,

Aku diam sebabku dah sayang.

Sudah menjadi lumrah dunia,

Hidup ini tak boleh dipaksa,

Kadang bahagia kadang berduka,

Yang penting hati gembira.

Saat ini hatiku runsing,

Seharian aku merenggek cengeng,

Kawinkanlah anjing dengan kucing,

Kawinnya jadi tapi tak seiring.

Si suami marah si isteri diam,

Terlalu diam dikatanya memendam,

Sentap tapi bukan makan dalam,

Saja bagi suasana tenteram.

Dengan ini, aku menyusun 10 jari tuk minta maaf dan minta ampun secara ikhlasnya.

Memang kadang kita silap, tapi disetiap sudut itu mesti ada jalan penyelesaiannya.

Aku sedar aku manusia biasa dan terlalu hina di depannya buat masa ini.

Tapi harap Tuhan bagi petunjuk kepadaku akan dimana bermulanya dan wujudnya masalah ini.

Dan untuk masa2 yag pernah ada, aku sangat merasa bahagia.

Tak sedetikpun aku lupa akan saat2 itu.

Walaupun kini aku harus menampung sejuta tahun kesakitan.

Harap lobang dihati ini akan kembali pulih.

Sesungguhnya aku lemah mengharungi hari2 ini tanpanya.

Jangan lah uji aku sehebat ini.

Aku tanak jadi kambing hitam lagi lepas nie.

Asyik nak jaga hati orang lan tpi aku sendiri yang terkorban.

Cukuplah satu lubang yg buat di hati ini.

Sejujurnya, aku lebih rela jadi gila daripada menahan sakit hati.

Salam Sayang,

Jerung Rimba Putih

I'M GETTING MARRY!!!

Every time we talk about married, it'll always sound very nice. 

The wedding gown! 

The tuxedo!

The rings!

The kisses!

The roses! 

Nervous!

Smiling faces!

Can't really stop thinkin' bout the day.

I guess that getting marry is the most unforgettable, happiest and precious moments of every couple's life. 

So, its mean that they will be happy together no matter what.. 

That is a happy ending.

But getting marry is not always sounds good,

It's a disaster sometimes,

It all happened with a single buzz at YM,

A chat with my close bro,

3am in the morning,

Dawn in the morning!

(All these expressions is what according to them)

He is really3 in love with his couple.

All these days before goin' just well.

Full with happiness,

The laughter,

The smile of the loved one,

They shared all the feelings,

And all is perfect to them,

Until one day..

His couple suddenly being marry-off to another person,

Family choice,

Its like a thunder to them,

Speechless and hopeless,

Sad and sorrow,

Grieve!

They never thought that this will happened,

So, this weekend is their last day,

The last for all the feeling,

The last day for what they've started,

The last day for the warm hugs,

And sure the last goodbye.

They've do whatever the can,

But they just don't want to make it worst,

They really love each other,

And know what best for them.

With that, they bought a twin couples ring,

A Sapphire,

With a hope that they will always remember each other,

And always love each other,

No matter what!

And he ended the conversation for a sleep.

Even I can feel the pain,

So, what's a PAIN to them???

And I'm left speechless!

Is that what love is???

We learned something new everyday,

And we'll keep getting better,

Memories remain in their heart!

So be happy for all the memories!

Just sharing the toughest days of my bro. Be strong!

Much love,

Jerung Rimba Putih.

LIFE OR DEATH for $$$?

               Everything happened as always. Woke up late. But not TOO late I mean.
Sleepy at work. Tertido masa baca buku(Profesional Ethics) masa dalam bas. Ntah sapa baca sapa nie.... Dun have much for breakfast as I dun really like to eat much. Heh! Got a call from MrShinyHead but not from Mr3Z. Busy kot. Aiyoo... Thanks tho for the call tho...  Really appreciate it man.

               So its afternoon already, suddenly an old lookin' guy came to me and asked something like...

"Ko kah JR?" and Yes I replied. 

 

              So he started to offer an underground-kinda-job to me. And the job is really into my expertice! Then he asked how much my salary here(work place now). Told him all the details. Yes, I'm the lurus kayu kinda person sometimes. No use cheating eh?

              Finally, in the middle of our bla3ing he then offered me with lots of $$$ if I work for him. First, the inner of me was like, WOW, $$$ erk? haha... But my uncle's advise suddenly came across in my mind. My Uncle is a police officer. And they usually call it(job) CID. So, I dun think that I wanna go for that job. 

              I refused and took my step by walking away from that guy with a big smile. Dunno why but I just feel that I'm finally free from something.. But not dunno free from what... Its just the smile came itself....

And my day happened as usual.. 

Busy most of the time.... 

Just wanna share the story tho...

Note : Sorry for the late update. Busy with job and sleepy most of the time. (n_n)y
FYI : This is a late reply and post. Still a good story to share tho..


Much love,
Jerung Rimba Putih

NUMB & EMPTY

               

                Woke up early today. Its like 4am to 4.30am. And its still dawn for sure! Numb and empty. I cant think of anything. Try to jump again for the bed but it didn't work as I planned. The eyes don't wanna  shut! Then I just sit and leaning at the corner of my bed. Stay for a while and staring at the fan on the ceiling. Stupid! Yes, I feel very stupid! Then I end this numb-kinda feeling to feed my stomach as its already muttering. And I'm off to the kitchen. Open the fridge and take all the things that I want. Things happened! And I'm done negotiating. 2 plates is enough already.

               I go for a bath. Things done! And go up for online. Yes, the line is very damn faster. Done with couple of things. And jump back again for bed and this time the eyes finally shut! I woke up late for a 5.5km jog as I do daily. Damn it! Thanks God, MrShinyHead called for me that time. Big smile for me coz he did save me today! Haha...

                So, I pack-up all the stuffs and get ready for work. I ended up things with staring out of the bus numbly! Dunno why. Think wanna make a call to MrShinyHead and Mr3Z but shit happened! Both of the fons is still laying on the bed. Great! Just great! So I do things as always, feel bored as always. Go for online a bit as my work are lots to be done! Damn! I wish I can just stay at home without working! Or stay at our house at the kampung. Its been so many years already I don't go to see that house. 6 years I guess. Aiyoo....

               So, here I'm now. Arrived home with a heavy-shoulder. Walking like a grandpa. Exhausted. And yeah, I didn't even manage to get my breakfast and lunch just now. And even my tea break. I walk home with an empty stomach. 

               Dunno what happened but the fons are full with missed call and messages. MrShinyHead with that cute-sad kinda smiley?? Heh! Whats that all about? No one pickup the fon eh?? Sorry tho...

               Think I should take a bath and get ready for my cook-marathon. Haha... 

Off for bath now and hope things are all fine there. okai...

SORRY AGAIN FOR ALL THE TROUBLES THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF ME!

SO SORRY ABOUT IT!

Much Love,

Jerung Rimba Putih

              

TAKE A BOW!!!

               A big sorry for those who I've done badly this lately. Sometimes I think that I just wanna make u guys feel better but I dont really know what on your mind.. So, how can I predict? Shud I keep on tracking like a stalker? I just wanna know! But when you guys keep quiet and dont even say nothing or anything it makes me think that you're not that "OK"!! As I really like and happy to know you guys. 

                Plus, you come up with a new FB post shows ur sadness?? Shud I keep my mouth shut while I think dat I can make you feels happy? But at least I still try. So, I just give my best to make you feel happy.

               I'm sincere on doin' this man but when dat make you feel bad, hurt or uncomfortable then I'm sorry about that. And I promise you guys that there'll be no more disturbances that you will get from me later... That's my promise!

There's no meaning to get your attentions or else.
Think I better stay with my business, things and craps.
Think I quit with getting into peoples’ life.
Think I shud take care about my life.
Thanks tho for the good time...

And again, sorry for all the bad.

Millions sorry,
Jerung Rimba Putih

POKOK DAN AWAN!!!

Erm...

Kali nie nak kongsi skit apa yg slalu dalam pikiran JR,

dan sudah tentu perasaan yg kerap kali tenggelam timbul..

Skejap ok skejap tak ok...

Skejap sedih pastu happy...

Skejap rasa sunyi pastu riuh rendah...

Tapi ada masa kita memerlukan perasaan yg lebih..

Lebih peka walaupun tak jitu,

Sekadar cukup walaupun tak lebih..

Rasanya itu sudah memadai..

Yah, sangat memadai..

Dan kali ini,

POKOK dan AWAN,

2 ciptaan AgungNya yg memang slalu berada dihati,

Indah itu memang sukar diungkapkan,

Perasan girang,

Senyuman ikhlas,

Pemusnah segala duka,

Maka bersenang2lah Sang Hati..

Ada kalanya kita bersendirian.

Bukan satu keinginan, tapi ianya satu lumrah.

Dalam tidak sedar, kita BUKANnya bersendirian.

Sekali kita berduka,

percayalah bahawa ramai insan lain turut bersedih...

Hidup harus terus!

Dan teruslah tumbuh dan membesar..

Bergembiralah bersama2 sesulit manapun keadaan.

Berikan dirimu waktu.

Dalam hidup tidak pernah ada jalan mudah.

Sejauh manapun pasti ada penhujung segala duka.

Saat diri rasa sendiri,

percayalah yang nikmatNya tidak pernah kurang.

Berusahalah sekuat hati, sesukar manapun hidup.

Tetaplah membesar walau selalu rasa kekurangan.

Dan kita takkan pernah sendiri.. kerna..

POKOK dan AWAN pasti menemani..

Maka bergembiralah walaupun disaat kau sedang berduka.

Kerana kau takkan pernah bersendirian.

Dan...

"Maka hiduplah dengan gembira,

Walau kadang sepi menyapa,

Karna itulah lumrah dunia,

Tak selamanya kita bahagia.

Maka harus kita ingat,

Hidup ini sangat singkat,

Mungkin masa kita kian dekat,

Tetaplah jadi yang terhebat."

**KHAS UNTUK ANDA WAHAI INSAN-INSAN TERHEBAT**

Salam sayang dari,

Jerung Rimba Putih

PULAU MAMUTIK, SABAH

Kali ni kita enjoy ngan tengok2 gambar jelah yer...

Malas nak bebel2 lah... haha...

Actualy, gambar ni bertarikh 7 Februari 2010, Ahad.

Masa tu memang nak sangat2 pegi Pulau Mamutik nie sbab boring2 sangat kat umah..

Pendek kata, nak tenangkan fikiran lah yg memang berselerak masa tu.

Sibuk ngan kerja, kerja dan kerja.

Pastu, futsal, futsal and futsal.

Bola sepak, bola sepak dan bola sepak..

Asyik training je memanjang.. aiyoyo...

Asal balik je mesti penat dan tertido...

So camna nak update blog???

Sudah!! Jgn bebel2 lagi...

Jom tengok gambar...

Gambar masa kat entrance masuk Pulau Mamutik.

Segala bagai fees sebelum masuk...

Masa tiba dalam jam 10.00am mcm tu org dah ramai dah..

Kan betul!! Ramai org.. haha..

Jgn pedulikan couple tu...

Actualy, nak tangkap gambar kayak tu je tapi tepaksa juga snap..

(Pulak... alasan sangat kan~~~)

Pertejemahan ke bahasa Melayu versi Sabah

"Tidak pandai baranang, jgn betabiat mo turun main air"

Ok, menatang ni dipanggil BIAR-AWAK...

That why org tak kisah sangat ngan menatang nie...

Suka2 dia je hidu2 beg org kan!!!

Sepak kat testis tu baru tau!!! hahaha...

Dan ini adalah ikan untuk di panggang...

(Ikan?? Sapa rasa2 sya tipu?? Btul sya tak tipu.. itu ikan lah...)

Tinggal setengah lagi yg nak di panggang.

Ini topeng untuk mereka yg nak main pasir...

Masa tu angin bertiup kuat so kena pakai ni untuk bernafas...

Jgn tak pakai tau... Hahahaha....

(Jgn gelak!!!)

Batu nisan untuk orang yg suka menyelam dalam pasir!!

AWAS!!!

Yg botak tu nama dia Keris Dauturi..

Tak caya?? Tanya kat akak seksi tu..

**sawan..

AMARAN!!!

Kalo nak pegi mandi jgn tinggalkan ayam yg dipanggang...

Tak pasal2 makan ayam hitam yg diimport khas dari Afrika kang!!!

(Padan muka!!!)

**padahal sendiri juga yg makan... kui kui kui...

Segala bagai barang yg disusun dengan sangat "rapi" sekali...

Tu lah kerja anak2 dara tu smua...

Sesuwai sangat tuk dijadikan bini...

(Habis rumah berselerak kalo mcm tu... wakwkawkak..)

Sya sendiri pun terkejut beruk bila dapat tau

yang Jericho Rosales pun ada kat situ pada masa tu..

Gambar Atas : Jericho Rosales

Hah!! Ni lagi Jericho Rosales!!! Sapa lah yg paparazzi sangat nie yer...

Takpa2, org hensem mesti dapat coverage lebih...

***sawan-ing.. lol

 Jericho Rosales tengah bersantai2 rendam teloq.. haha...

Cinta cintun si urang puteh...

Urang Jipoon main layang2....

Yer, adik2, abg2 n akak2 yer...

Untuk pergetahuan, inilah dia Ikan mhilis..

Sebut betul2.. MHILIS... MHI.. LIS...

Tak caya??? Tanya uncle kata bawah nie...

 KAN!!! Tulah, tak nak caya... kan...

 Salipar berkaler pink... aiyooo...

Kesian orang tu kena tinggal sendiri2...

(Nak gi teman dia jap... lalala~~~)

The sun is set again??? Erk!!!

Sun.. set.. go!!

"Ini adalah boat laju...

Ia bergerak sangat laju...

Sebab pemandu bot tu bawa laju2...

Itu lah ia si bot laju~~"

(***kojol~~)

Ini adalah mer-maid...

Maksudnya, org gaji yg dipanggil Mer sbab nama dia Merry..

hahaha..

Baiklah, sekian saja acara

"Jalan-Jalan Buat Taik Mata"

untuk kali ini...

Diharap anda semua terhibur dan terliur2 melihat gambar2 ini...

Sekian, dan slamat bercuti2 Sabah...

SABAH... BEST BAH!!!

BULIH BAH KALAU KAU!!!

Salam sayang,

Jerung Rimba Putih