LIFE JOURNAL #49 : I HATE JANUARY

I guess after all the bad things dat happened to me, I dun think I will like this January ever again.. I can say now dat I really5 hate January. Sorry about dat. Uncle passed away the same date with my befday. Thats suck! Its my befday but then how could I be happy with it? Thats ok.. thanks though to those yg wish befday to me... TYVM.

Dat is one thing, now its my dady dont really wanna talk to me.. Its ok. I'll love him still no matter what. Of coz it hurts me big time..Think I wanna die for saying something stupid. And yes, as a human being I just trying my best to be me. To be myself. No cheat, no lie and no pretend at all. I know dat he live the hard way to be tough as a leader. And there's shud be no 'NO' to him. I know him well. Ego as a leader. Thats sound fine. Tapi tolak ansur lah.. tak rugi apa2 pun..  Still, I love u dad. Yes. I really3 do.

Being a couple with someone sound really nice. Its like you can change the hell become heaven. Yeah. You know dats wow kan? But sometimes knowing the truth will not makes u happy. Yeah, we can pretend to be FINE just to make them happy. And I think dat is the start where you learn how to cheat, kan? There's always a bad and good things about pretending. Its doesn't matter u do it now and regret later or maybe the other way around. But for me, I just want you to be you. Stop pretending. You can say dats because you dont wanna hurts my feeling. Guess what? By doing so, you do hurts my feeling. I dun care pun about how bad the truth might be. If you believe in me, then I can handle it well. Well dats love. Trusting each other and stop being a pretender. 

And now dat I hate myself for losing u.

Its ok. 

I wish so much dat I can find peace at Limbang.
As I said to myself, it never easy to accept a lost.

Lights will guide, be chill.