LIFE JOURNAL #91 : FAITH

Life getting happier than before, used to be i mean - well I guess I dont have to feel dat burden anymore. Seriously it tortured when someone is not really into you but still pretending to be like they're.. I dunno if they're really used to but its just me maybe who need more than wat I can get, or wat they can give or else - what else can I say? Lack of understanding between us? Maybe. Excuses. I guess, but dats according to your speeches sound like.. but what said is said… Wats done is done.... and so this tiny man said..

“As we faced this life and move on with our own track..

sometime everybody dont really get wat they want

but accept what u have and be thankful

coz dats life.. we dont just experienced it..

We adapt it..

and make it better and better

it all start with a tiny broken

scars will heal if you have faith in yourself

begone and make changes in ur life

its ok honey..

coz I believe dat happy ending will say hi to you later”

Jerung Rimba Putih

LIFE JOURNAL #90 : WISH I COULD DO MORE

 Jeselton Point Jetty. 8th June, Wed.

 

Too much too think. Missing them badly. Everyone's busy. Biasa. Smua org pun keje. I had not much time to talk in person with everyone around this lately. Except my customer lah yg datang kedai.. hahaha.. Someone dat close to me?? Eh.. tak kot rasanya. I mean I tried, tapi masing2 sibuk ngan keje kan.. I did talk to my car. Heh! wutebaaa~~

My family?? They all just fine but just my dad. Skrg tengah bertarung hidup... I wish I can give him more than just support, more than just sweet-talk, more than just sending n fetching him to the hospital, more than just trying to make him smile at my jokes, more than just saying "You'll be fine dad, dont worry". I wish I can do more than just all dat.. Only God knows how much I'm worried about him. I dun really expect my other siblings will do the same. I remember when daddy in doubt - in silence he asked me, "kalau bapa kena operate, nak potong sikit paru2 n kaji, tidak apa2 kah tu?" By the time he finished the silent-talk to me alone, my heart was like hit by a car. I never expect dat question will came out from his mouth.. Frankly speaking, I never expect this for the rest of my life. I mean I did, but not this operate2 thing and kaji2 bagai.. Bukan bole diambil ringan hal nie.. I did give an advice to him most about everything to keep his health always secure. Jgn suka minum nescafe sangat. Jgn suka tido ngan kipas at level 5. Jgn angkat berat2 sangat. And all other advices I said to him.. When dady asked me dat.. I dunno wat to say other than.. "Erm.. nanti sya tanya abg2 sya yg keja dokter.. minta suggestion diorang.." Dats wat I said to my dad?? I feel bad about it. FUCKING BAD!!! Sya tau apa dalam fikiran abah.. my heart crashed into pieces. I dunno wat to do.. I did sent him to hospital for inspection. Check here n there. Ponteng keja berkali2 dalam seminggu. Argh... Seriously, I dunno wat to say about the decission. All I can do this time is to pray to the God above. Hoping dat big guy will hear me. Still how bout dady's decission??? Arghhhh...

Jerung Rimba Putih.

LIFE JOURNAL #89 : THANKS!

Thanks for the...
time dat we spent 2gether,

smiles dat cheers me up,

the laugh dat makes me happy,

jokes dat turn my face into red,

touch n warm hugs-goodbye,

And I hope 2 see you again.

Thanks.

Jerung Rimba Putih

LIFE JOURNAL #88 : HOW I WISH..

Baik rasanya aku sedar lebih awal..

bila yg aku buat cuma untuk buat aku gembira..

untuk melihatmu

menunggu mu..

aku bersyukur dengan kesempatan yg ada..

tapi aku harus berhenti 

berhenti membuatmu berasa rimas

merasa tidak tenang kerana tergangu

merasa kurang bebas dari aku

bila setiap masa aku terpikirkan mu

padahal aku harus sedar akan itu

walau apa yg aku korbankan..

masa

hari

dan

detik

walhal aku harus tahu...

kau disini bukan sbab aku.

jadi aku akan berhenti mengangu

menggangu masa2 yg kau harap2

dan ingin2kan selama ini.

: ]

Still, appreciate dat time spent with u. 

It'll always stay in my head.

always.

much love for ya.

hugs n kisses! 

jerung rimba putih.

LIFE JOURNAL #87 : HATI

dikejauhan kukirimkan khabar

 kuharap kau kan dengar

walau hati terasa hambar

namun tetapku menanti sabar

dari jauh aku kesunyian

tika malam tiada berteman

mesti akur katamu tak kulawan

walaupun kita kau lihat tak padan

dari jaub lelahku menghulur

perasaan hati setulusnya jujur

mesti sukar tuk engkau akur

tetap aku yang tersungkur 

tapi..

takkan katamu kuingkari

takkanku terasa hati

takkanku potong nadi

 takkanku bunuh diri

hanya kerna ingin kau kembali

untuk yang kesekian kali

meskipun tak pernah kau sedari

kuucapkan tulus dari hati

selamat hari jadi

"moga engkau bersenang2 selalu" 

jerung rimba putih

LIFE JOURNAL #86 : WHY? KNAPA SLALU SYA?

kadang2 aku heran.. knapa setiap benda yg aku struggle xpenah nampak baik dimata org..

its like it all' end up with a big sigh at their face

and dat leave me with a broken heart here..

i dunno.. but nape ah? 

seriously aku nak tau nape???

but one thing for sure....

mesti lah sbab its not worth to give much attention for what im gonna say kan.. 

sometimes.. maybe..

coz it dun really chance anything pun..

things happened just now. 

i feel bad when they've misunderstood with wat i've said

and i really feel bad for that... 

the way they leave me just like dat before i can make any explanations..

and i feel damn bad about it. 

thing goes like this...

my flight will be 26/05 and according to the plan I'm gonna be there for a week.

a week!!

but i did mention dat i wont stay long there.. kan?

then I did asked, who's gonna pick u up at 28/05??

did i? kan? then u mention this dot3 name..

so i understand lah dat ure not alone there.. 

but what i wanna said according to my plan is..

i'll (maybe) go on 26 and return at 27/28 morning.

so i'll be here at 28.

BUT since u said u'll be with somebody else so i think its not good for me to kacau daun..

since its not like u all slalu gather mcm tu kan..

AND u didn't mention yg u gonna be here alone pun..

last2 baru u ckap.. then trus blah..

padahal sya sanggup lepaskan cuti panjang sbab kejar peluang 2 c u..

ntah lah...

u never know how i feel bad about this.

its just like the same feeling u gave me before.

when u said u gonna be around..

u give me hope dat bring me to joy and happiness.
counting day by day..

but then u said u cannot make it coz of some matters..

i understand.. with a broken heart of coz..

then now u did it again after you give me this good story about u

about u gonna be around.

one things i wanna know..

napa hal yg xbaik slalu aje cepat terlihat pada diri sya?

even sya dah usaha lebih..

just 2 c u guys happy..

ntahlah..

LIFE JOURNAL #85 : ITU WAKTU DULU

kalo dulu masa keje kat kuari aku bawa lori
8, 10 and 12 tan nyer lori aku penah bawak..
bawa mcm pelesit..
mcm kuari tu bapak aku ada share ngan owner..
sukahati lah sbab boss tak marah pun... hahaha

tapi baru skrg dapat lesen..
bole lah kuar tanpa perlu gusar ngan abg jpj.
har har har

**abaikan**

iti plak cerita lain...
ini tentang rasa hati.

skrg plak aku rasa lain..
rasa mcm aku x diendahkan..
yelah sbab aku nie sapa jelah kan...
Emo?
tu menurut mereka..
ntah laa..
aku pun xtau alat mana yg bole digunakan tuk mengukur keEmo-an aku
tapi kalo nak jadi tabah..
harus hati kene mati
tak pedulik org lain
layan diri sendiri saja.
sygnya aku tak mcm tu..



**matikan hati.**

LIFE JOURNAL #85 : THESE FEELING

I just cant tell how i feel at this moment.

I wish I could but I shudn't. 

Better be dat way.

 Grey.

I wish to express this untold feelings.

About what I feel right at this moment.
I wish to tell...      I wish to tell...    I wish to tell...
but I shud behave. 

Eyes both heavy but still dun wanna sleep.
Pretend tough.

I'll be fine. Sure will.

Hiding and acting brave.
I cant tell how stupid I am.

But I'll always stay in a humble side.
Coz I did my part.
Without complaint at all.

 So I free this mind. Avoid bad thinking. 

They're fully responsible for what they do.
I dun blaming other. I dont pointing at other.

For now they avoid you, let it be. 

And if I got lucky, they'll forget me.

Smile JR, smile.

 At last with no end.
I'll stay there.
Being me.
No fake smile.
No lie.
No cheat at all.

Even u dunno me anymore.

 Gone with a free heart,

LIFE JOURNAL #84 : I GOT MY DOT.. DOT.. DOT...

I dunno how to express dat supadupa happy feeling in me dat time..

I was like, "jgn senyum!! jgn senyum!!!" when I'm walking out from the car.

But still this mouth keep on senyum2 kambing bila melihat paper dalam tangan...

Happy bukan main lagi masa tu..

Maybe its not so big thang pun for those yg dah pro kan...

But as for me its not the license dat matter.. its about the feeling in me...

Argghhhh~~~ gonna keep on smiling!! hehehehe~~

ok2.. here's the details.

 layan busan menunggu... snap here n there..

 test bukit.. kacang. hehe...

 ni plak abg JPJ..

Sesi 2.. No 39 dengan sesi pertamanya seramai 59 org... 

mengantuk tahap cipan menunggu...

 

 selepas jam 2 lebih.. masih lagi menunggu giliran.. arghh...

Tapi hati terasa mcm diawang-awangan bila abg JPJ tu kata TAHNIAH!!! hehe...

Penyiksaan drive kereta tanpa lesen tu xda lah parah sangat...

cuma rasa mcm hidup dalam buruan aje..

nak gi mana2 pun takut aje...

kih.. kih... kih...

actualy lesen dari bulan 9 last year lagi ambik lesen.. 

tapi ade je masalah tutor tu.. 

hinggakan pernah sampai 2bulan setengah xda latihan langsung..

xpelah.. skrg tinggal tunggu lesen kuar aje.. 

pastu bleh makan angin dah... muahahahaha~~~

happynyewwwww~~~ lol

LIFE JOURNAL #83 : SHE'S THE ONE

Dear Mum, 

        Thanks for always being there for me. To help me out whenever I'm down. For sacrifice ur entire life, happiness and all ur time only for us. Ure the truest friend I ever have. The sun dat keep us save and warm - away from cold. When trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us, u always stood there to lend ur hand for us. I will bow and ask for forgiveness for all my wrong-doing. Thanks for the entire life warranty of ur love. Even nobody in this world can pay ur salary as a full-time mother since the price of your single sweat is a pure love.

From ur blessed son,

JR

 

Btw, suke perbualan pagi tadi ngan mak...
 

                              JR : (baru bangun..) Happy mother's day mak...syg mak.. **muah2.                

Mak : **Senyum lap pipi aje..

JR : Masak apa ni hari??

Mak : Sorry, hari ni ..Off-day.

JR : Erk...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~

love u mum. like always

LIFE JOURNAL #82 : I HATE IT (JUST A CRAP)

This is why sometime i dont really like flirting

by the time i do - then i'll feel sad, bad n dissapointed of coz..

i had enough listen to the 'not your rezeki" or watsoever thang..

and dats y i dont really wanna do this

 i always bare this in my head

statement #1 : "there's a reason for what all happened"

(yeah rite!! I had a tonne of reason already and things happened for all of dat oso??)

statement #2 : "if we cant make it 2 b couple, we can be friends :) "

(well this is true.. but I prefer to call it a scandal.. coz they seem not like my fren pun.. 

perlu ke ada smiley2 thang tu? mesti tak tinggal kan? haha..)

statement #3 : "arghhh...."

tak mcm statement pun?? Heh!

(everybody know this feelin lah... erk.. sorry sbab terlebih emo.. dush2..)

Lepas kena reject trus senyap.. emo.. sedih...
(wei.. tu biasa lah.. tinju perut laju2 kang..)

seriously, i seldom doing this flirting2 thangs. coz they always do it first.

(mcm lah glamer sangat kan...)

sorry for those yg dah mencuba..
(sila rujuk statement no 2 yer..)

rasanya you guys pun tau all dats feeling to be accept or reject kan..

cerita panjang x guna sbab sume org tau dah...

(cite jugak kan? erk.. yer... hehe..)

so skrg layan lagu nie aje lah...

lagu nie betul2 menusuk hati..

SUMPAH!!

Tone lagu sangat2 febret..

lentok2 musik dan drumbeats ditambah ala2 okestra skit..
(biasalah.. Edry Hashim kan.. of coz ada okestra2 skit WALAUPUN lagu rock.)

berkali2 dengar pun x bosan...

nak kata gila, emo, jiwang, drama.. lantaklah labu..

as long as bulu hidung korang x berkurang sudah lah..

PROJEK PISTOL - SYURGA

** last event will be upload later.
 Example : SABAH 2011 INTERNATIONAL MARATHON****

Si kaki emo yg mengada,

SPECIAL POST : HAPPY BEFDAY ABG GHAZ

just wanna say HAPPY BEFDAY to Abg Ghaz..

I did sms him

I did wish him

And I hope dat he'll always be fine

Sentiasa dimurahkan serta dilimpahkan rezeki

Sehat tubuh badan dan ceria2 selalu..

Like always.

And I did read some post about Abg Ghaz oso..

which is from Abg Shah (Ash)

Actually JR x penah miss pun every single blogpost Abg Shah..

Love his blog coz lots of nice lesson i can get there.

tgif happy birdie
(edited post due to inserting this link)

all the best for you bro,